Series of One: You Can Never Go Down The Drain

February 03 - February 09, 2018


Part of Series of One: A Solo Performance Festival

First Floor Theatre | 74A E 4th Street; 1st Floor

Thursday to Saturday at 8PM; Sunday at 3PM

You Can Never Go Down The Drain: a Musical Children's Program for Adults in 2018
Created by The Bearded Ladies Cabaret
Written and Performed by John Jarboe

Mr. Rogers was known for saying no matter how bad things are "You can never go down the drain."  Using and abusing iconic songs from the program, Philadelphia's Bearded Ladies Cabaret, puts this to the test.  For this workshop performance, expect a gold fish funeral, gay romps into the land of make-believe, and some earnest questions about irony.

Cast and Creative Team

Created by The Bearded Ladies Cabaret
Written and Performed by John Jarboe
Musical Arrangement and Keyboards by Heath Allen
Directed by Suli Holum
Set and Costume Design and Construction by Rebecca Kanach
Production Manager: Calvin Anderson
Stage Manager: Katie Pidgeon
Photo by Kate Raines at Plate3 Photography

About the Artists

John Jarboe is the Artistic Director of the Bearded Ladies Cabaret. A Philadelphia-based theatre artist, John graduated from the University of Michigan, with a BFA in Theatre. In addition to directing, choreographing, producing and performing with the Beards, John finds time to collaborate outside the cabaret world as an actor, musician, teaching artist and consultant. He volunteers for Attic Youth, a local center that creates opportunities for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, and Questioning (LGBTQ) youth in Philadelphia.
John appeared locally with The Walnut Street Theatre (A Christmas Carol, Love Story, Vincent In Brixton, Arsenic & Old Lace), Theatre Exile (Cock), People’s Light and Theatre (The Rainmaker), Philadelphia Shakespeare Theatre (Hamlet, As You Like It) and The Wilma (Macbeth). Some favorite work includes turns as Julia Child in Inside Julia Child (Philly Fringe) and as the title role in The Green Fairy Cabaret (Philly School of Circus and Kimmel Center) which he wrote and performed in as part of the inaugural Philadelphia International Festival of the Arts (PIFA). He collaborated with Applied Mechanics Theatre Company in Portmanteau, Vainglorious, Overseers and Some Other Mettle, and was a recipient of the 2013 Performing Arts Fellowship from the Independence Foundation.
The Bearded Ladies is an experimental cabaret group devoted to exploiting all the possibilities of intimate, homemade theater through beautiful songs, tricked-out costume changes, drag, and virtuosic prop construction. With wit and sparkle we tackle the politics of popular culture, sex, gender, and artistic invention. They have been called “wildly entertaining” by the Philadelphia Inquirer, “talented singers and comic actors” by the Huffington Post, and “a little over the top” by Aunt Patty and Uncle Marv, who happened to be in town for the weekend visiting the Johnsons. Website: