Why We’re Getting Gay Married (in La MaMa-Loped)
Posted February 14, 2011 at 2:11 pm
Why We’re Getting Gay Married (in La MaMa-Loped)
Jesse Cameron Alick, The Clyde Fitch Report
On Valentine’s Day 2011, Scout Durwood, Lucile Baker Scott and I are getting gay married. No, gay marriage isn’t legal in New York State. And no, Lucile isn’t a boy. And I’m not a girl. And the two of us aren’t both marrying Scout. Though that would be hot. But yes, all three of us are gay. So it’s actually two separate wedding ceremonies we’re talking about here.
The real question is: Why, oh why would we get married in the first place when we’re queer? Because we have the right to get married, don’t we? Or do you have to actually be in love to exploit that God-given right — which, it turns out, isn’t God-given. Our friends who got married for a green card right before us sure weren’t in love. Is marriage an institution of love and commitment? I mean, really? Or is it a legal institution that has absolutely nothing to do with relationships but only with legality? And maybe a splash of tradition? And if so, how silly is that? And if so, all that hubbub about gay marriage undermining something fundamental about the familial bond seems even sillier doesn’t it? I mean. Really.
LaMaMa-Loped, which is the title of our marriage, will take place at La Mama — once again, Feb. 14, 8pm — and it’s a performance art exploration of that institution we call marriage. It’s sort of a gay marriage-protest thing because it really is idiotic that gay couples who have been together for decades can’t get married but Lucile and I — who may write a play with each other once in a while, but certainly don’t expect to spend the rest of our lives together — can. This performance art piece — complete with presents, cake, performances by a wedding band, burlesque, comedy, a wedding ceremony and the throwing of a bouquet, all hosted by mastermind Scout Durwood — is about more than that “gay thing.” It’s about exploring our dream of the perfect marriage. It’s about how society trains us all to think about it and plan for it and how, if we don’t achieve it, we’ve somehow failed at a major benchmark of growing up. It’s seeing what’s at the heart of that. Why do we do it? Why do we let ourselves suffer from this affliction of marriage? And how there really is an easy way out — just get married. Then divorced. You’ll feel much better in the morning.
Some of our gay friends have gotten offended by this project. They think that, by really getting married, we’re betraying “our people.” Or worse, by really getting married, we’re making fun of the civil rights struggle for gay marriage. Well, that’s not exactly true: this is more of a playful and deeper look into what we’re fighting for in the first place. Some of our straight friends have gotten offended by this project, too. They think that, by really getting married, we’re making fun of their institution. Well, yeah, guilty as charged again. But we have nothing but respect for your love and commitment. So we hope you don’t get too offended. And we hope you get the joke and come to our weddings on Monday and celebrate the strangeness of marriage with us!